Living and working in Cardiff.
Sharing my observations and opinions throughout 2012. the aim is to share one thing each day throughout the year.
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Dear hypothetically gay son,

You’re gay. Obviously you already know that, because you told us at the dinner table last night. I apologize for the awkward silence afterwards, but I was chewing. It was like when we’re at a restaurant and the waiter comes up mid-bite and asks how the meal is, only in this metaphor you are the waiter, and instead of asking me about my meal, you said you were gay. I don’t know why I needed to explain that. I think I needed to find a funny way to repeat the fact that you’re gay… because that is what it sounds like in my head right now: “My son is gay. My son is gay. My son is gay.”

Let me be perfectly clear: I love you. I will always love you. Since being gay is part of who you are, I love that you’re gay. I’m just trying to wrap my head around the idea. If you sensed any sadness in my silence last night, it was because I was surprised that I was surprised. Ideally, I would have already known. Since you were an embryo, my intent has always been to really know you for who you are and not who I expect you to be. And yet, I was taken by surprise at last night’s dinner. Have I said “surprise” enough in this paragraph? One more time: Surprise!

OK. Let’s get a few things straight about how things are going to be.

Our home is a place of safety and love. The world has dealt you a difficult card. While LGBT people are becoming more accepted, it is still a difficult path to walk. You’re going to experience hate and anger and misunderstandings about who you are out in the world. That will not happen here. You need to know with every fiber of who you are that when you walk in the front door of your home, you are safe, and you are loved. Your mother is in complete agreement with me on this.
I am still, as always, your biggest defender. Just because you’re gay doesn’t mean you’re any less capable of taking care of and defending yourself. That said, if you need me to stand next to you or in front of you, write letters, sign petitions, advocate, or anything else, I am here. I would go to war for you.
If you’re going to have boys over, you now need to leave your bedroom door open. Sorry, kiddo. Them’s the breaks. I couldn’t have girls in my room with the door shut, so you don’t get to have boys.
You and I are going to revisit that talk we had about safe sex. I know it’s going to be awkward for both of us, but it is important. I need to do some research first, so let’s give it a few weeks. If you have questions or concerns before then, let me know.
That’s enough for now. Feel free to view this letter as a contract. If I ever fail to meet any of the commitments made herein, pull it out and hold me to account. I’ll end with this: You are not broken. You are whole, and beautiful. You are capable and compassionate. You and your sister are the best things I have ever done with my life, and I couldn’t be prouder of the people you’ve become.


P.S. Thanks to a few key Supreme Court decisions and the Marriage Equality Act of 2020, you’re legally able to get married. When I was your age, that was just an idea. Pretty cool, huh?

223 - A friend of mine posted this article on facebook this morning and i read it walking to work on my mobile. I had to stop because I was crying both for this letter and the one full of hate that he references in the article. I forget how lucky i was to have friends and family who accepted me when I came out, but I had the same conversation about boys and bedrooms!
One is sorry one could not have taken both branches of the road. But we were not allotted multiple selves.
219- I only found out today that Gore Vidal died last week. Some of his writing really challenged me as a pretentiously naive teenager but as a pretentious and bitter adult I couldn’t agree more with most!
210 this makes me very happy




sometimes there’s videos that make me happy to exist on this planet

Oh god yes.

(via jonnyathan)

204- since I’ve started running the weather has not been good. i got up this morning to a glorious clear sky and it made my run so much nicer.

The Marl is a big park near my house and this morning in the dazzling sunlight i was the only one there and it was brilliant. I did a few more sprints than normal and hobbled home but it felt great!

199 - what a wonderful mantra

(via recoverykitty)

191- good advice for a monday morning

(via fightingobesity)

188- this has caused lots of controversy over the last few weeks but it is still a fabulous image!




…I think I’m gonna go buy a bag Oreos.

Try and find their BIRTHDAY flavor, they taste like cake and have rainbow sprinkles for that extra dose of sin.

Janis Petron demonstrates an excellent level of intelligence in being unable to determine between gender and sexuality.

(via jonnyathan)

Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting….
That’s not for you!

Somehow you’ll escape
all that waiting and staying.
You’ll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing.

175- Oh the places you’ll go- Dr Seuss
171- I put on 1lb today in slimming world. Absolutely gutted after such an energetic week. This is very apt advice for today


queue- at work

171- I put on 1lb today in slimming world. Absolutely gutted after such an energetic week. This is very apt advice for today


queue- at work

(via shrinkinganthea)

168- yusuf and I went for a run this morning. Ive started back at the gym and been feeling motivated. The last few days have been difficult ask yusufs been off and “treats” aplenty have been in the flat.
Last night I was sitting in the living room with very restless legs and found myself craving some exercise.

I got Yusuf on board and at 7am this morning we went for a one mile run. Unfortunately we didnt time it and there were some walking sections, but its only the second time in my adult life I’ve ever run! I happily plod along in the gym but its a totally different ballgame one those streets!

I also prefer to exercise alone and wasnt sure about running with yusuf but actually it was good to feed off each other and push each other.

Very inspired to go again! And ill time the next one!